Monday, December 21, 2009

The Time Has Come

Dear 29 Followers.

Thank you so much for your love and support in 2009. Just knowing that you were out there was an inspiration as we prepared for our final mission.

Now the time has come for us all to realize the Master's dream and board his galactic love pod and head to our promised destination in the Nebula Constellation. Remember to pack only 13 lbs in a small blue duffle bag, wear your Fruit of the Loom underwear on the outside and shave the upper half of your body. We will meet at the ordained coordinates at 2:34 AM when I will light the 12 Birthday Candles in honor of LeBron James and then we will board the spacecraft in groups of three.

Backti Shalamakti


Thursday, December 17, 2009

347437 Oak Street

I don't get it. I move to a home in the middle of nowhere. Our house in at the end of a 3 mile dirt road populated by maybe a dozen homes. Our mailbox is 4 miles from our front door. Our closest neighbor is a 20 minute walk. Looking out the living room windows I overlook hundreds of thousands of acres of completely undeveloped National Grasslands. Honestly, I could sit on my patio for 100 years and the only thing I would see are some hawks, mule deer and rabbits.

So how do I end up with an address like 17965 Mountain View Road? Where exactly are the other 17953 homes? Are they planning a huge development? Are they worried about future growth? My address should be something like 8 Mountain View Road. Or there should be no number at all. Just Mark at Mountain View Road.

I don't know, maybe it all goes back to my childhood growing up at 1 Taunton Hill Road. Now that was an address.