Saturday, June 19, 2010

Violence Erupts In The Streets of Sisters After Laker Win

Ignoring the post game pleas of both the police and LA news commentator Rob Fukazaki, a Sister's man went on a wild celebratory spree that turned violent and destructive Friday evening after the Los Angeles Lakers clinched the NBA Championship against an especially ugly Boston Celtic team.

According to Millie Cyrus, owner of Alpacas n' Things, "I looked up and saw Mr. Monteiro run past the store wearing nothing but his Laker boxer shorts and a big smile. He seemed to be excited. Very excited. Really, really excited and it's been such a long time since I've had any. Gosh I wish he'd come in."

Mr. Monteiro was also witnessed trying to turn over a garbage can and set it on fire. "He pushed and pushed but he couldn't get it to tip over so we went out and helped him," said Bob and Mary Grace Coulterville, owners of Ear Expressions. "Sure, he was trying to burn down the town but he's still a neighbor and you help neighbors."

Mark Monteiro, a former Los Angeles resident and longtime Laker fan was finally apprehended after a high speed 3mph chase down Main Street in his buckboard. Sister's Sheriff Joe Bob Beergut who made the arrest said, "We haven't seen anyone going down Main Street that fast since the throttle got stuck on Clarence Twilly's electric cart. Mr Monteiro was in an obvious state of intoxication when we finally pulled him over and he was shouting profanities at someone named Red Auerbach."

After spending the night incarcerated at the ice cream shop Mr. Monteiro was released. His court date has yet to be set.


  1. Mark,

    I was so excited at the prospect of the Lakers winning the championship that I looked into it and learned that the Lakers are a basketball team in good standing with the NBA (National Basketball Administration) I am very glad they won if it makes you happy.

    Can anyone watch the game or do you have to be interested?