Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I Like Um Big and Dumb

Central Oregon is known for it's gorgeous weather and mostly insect free living. In fat, the only bugs we had attracted most of the summer were these big, fat dumb flies that were so listless I'm pretty sure even former heavyweight boxer Jerry Quarry could have hit one. Or, as P.J. O'Rourke once said about the challenge of making fun of the visitors to Dollywood. "It's like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope."

Bottom line. I could pick them off at will. That is, until a new breed of fly appeared around late July. Smarter, faster, smaller. Like when those German Messerschmitts first showed up during the war. These little bastards seemed to know what I was going to do before I did it. Jab, jab, right hook. I couldn't touch them even with my new state-of-the-art fly swatter from Bed Bath and Beyond.

I think I'll just let them eat until they get fat and dumb.

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