Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Nurple. It Rhymes With Purple.

I don't know about the rest of you but I've had it up to here with the word purple. "I'm so cool. Nothing rhymes with me. Go ahead, try. See, I told you so. I'm special, so special." Well, fuck you purple. That's right, you heard me. Fuck you. Now that I'm living up here in Oregon in a state of semi-retirement I finally have time to do something about this grammatical oversight. It's not like it's such a difficult problem that we've had to wait how many hundreds of years to solve. Let's just come up with a few new words that rhyme with purple and start using them. Write a few poems, pound out a few songs. It's easy. Here are my first two new options to get things rolling.

Churple: The sound a person makes when they let out a small, quick laugh. Like a bird chirping. For example, "Upon hearing the punch line, the young lady churpled".

Nurple. A man doesn't have a nipple. Of course not. That's why we're allowed to look at them in movies and in pictures. A man has a nurple. For example, "I could see Juan's nurples through his fishnet tank top".

Done. And don't think I don't see you hiding in the corner orange. You're next.

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