Friday, April 24, 2009
Holy Shit 2
Well today was interesting. If you read Holy Shit you know that a mountain lion killed a deer behind our house two nights ago. Today I had to figure out what to do with the body. After talking to a few locals and then calling the Central Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife I quickly surmised that a mountain lion killing a deer 50 feet from where you're eating nachos and watching the Laker game gets about the same amount of interest as if you called the Southern California Department of Fish and Wildlife to report that you have mice. No one cared and no one had much in the way of advice on what to do with it. So I was left to use my own wits. Always a dangerous proposition. After devising and throwing out several elaborate plans involving harnesses and helicopters I decided to go old school. I bought a rope, tied it to the deer's legs and then dragged it down the hill about a quarter of a mile where the wild turkeys, in what I thought to be ironic, would be able to have their Thanksgiving. As I was hauling this thing down the hill my first thought was, "How in the hell did I end up here. I used to run a major international advertising agency. I have an Emmy." My second thought was realizing just how strong a mountain lion must be. I was having trouble dragging this deer downhill using a rope and my entire body. The lion had dragged this same deer across flat land and uphill...with its mouth. Let's just say I'm glad there's a 12" concrete wall between us when I'm sleeping.