Thursday, April 23, 2009

This Just In

As some of you may know I haven't watched the news since December. No television, no newspapers and no online. Here's what has slipped through the net so far. There was a tea party tax revolt. Blagovioch and Specter were convicted. Some guy at Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac killed himself. Valerie Bertinelli looks great. Citibank and GE reported good earnings. Obama is a Socialist. Mirror Pond needs to be dredged out. Texas wants to secede. A woman from England named Susan Boyle can sing. The Obama Administration is proposing a high speed rail system. A man saved his dog using cpr. Obama's girls got a Portuguese water dog puppy. Mel Gibson's wife got $500 million. AIG execs aren't getting anything. The Big 3 car execs flew in separate private jets to a meeting in Washington. Madonna tried to adopt another baby from Malawi. The Queen of England groped Michele Obama.


  1. The ONLY one's I've heard about as a conscious news avoider: The Republicans were "teabagging", and Valerie Bertinelli has been airbrushed all to hell.
    Thanks for the other info. Now I can crawl back into my hole for another six months. This is better than the Daily Show.

  2. You're all caught up, kid. Nothing else is worthy of your attention. I miss Scooby Doo.